How should you teach a child who lacks decisiveness?

 

A gentle person lacks decisiveness.

A gentle person is often indecisive and lacks decisiveness. They don’t prepare for things not going as planned and instead consider asserting their own opinions as something that may hurt others, preferring to stay comfortable. As a result, while they may follow what is given to them, it is difficult for them to make decisions and plan things together with others. There are instances when parents notice their children blending in well with their peers but getting swept away by others' opinions. Many parents are concerned because their children tend to buy study materials that their friends use rather than leading their studies independently. How should one teach a child who is gentle but lacks decisiveness?

source:gpt4

Give them the power to make decisions

Children who have difficulty making decisions often run to their parents for answers when they face a problem and follow them as they are told. It's a good habit to take into account their parents' opinions. However, when every problem arises, if they rely on their parents for answers or ask friends with good solutions and follow them without thinking, they may end up in trouble. In studies, they might trust and follow a successful friend's advice without understanding their own abilities and level, which may lead to poor outcomes. To help a child who lacks decisiveness, start by letting them make small decisions, like choosing workbooks or classes by themselves. However, you should always discuss the process of making those decisions. If children do not learn to judge based on advice from others, they may end up making decisions without thinking them through.

 

Instill a sense of urgency

The tendency to avoid making decisions often stems from a desire to avoid responsibility. This is especially true for those who are busy listening to others' opinions. In studies, this can manifest as thinking that whatever most of their friends are doing must be good. They might go to a study hall because their friends do, or enroll in a tutoring center because others do. At such times, parents need to instill a sense of urgency in their children. It's essential to attach conditions that hold them accountable for their decisions. This won't be easy at first. For example, if a child attends a tutoring center but knows they won't be scolded for not doing their homework, they might procrastinate. In such cases, parents should firmly say that if this continues, there is no reason to keep attending the tutoring center. Although this is a bold approach, it can be a shocking realization for an indecisive person. Once put into practice, it will prompt them to think about how their choices and decisions affect their outcomes.

Encourage them to be friend diligent students

Gentle children are often swayed by the atmosphere around them. There's a famous story about Mencius’ mother moving three times to find a better environment for her son’s education. Like Mencius’ mother, parents should create an environment where their children can associate with diligent friends. When a child sees friends who study hard, they may feel uneasy about falling behind in the group, which encourages them to develop diligent study habits. Such an atmosphere can help instill good study habits and contribute to improving academic performance.

 

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